Looking after Uncle Bill's house

Dear Uncle Bill,

How is your holiday in Italy?

Things have been pretty normal here at your place.

Nothing to worry about really.

Fifi ate two lizards

and got bitten by a redback

after she dug up the neighbour’s strawberries.

She’s okay though.

Only a week at the vet’s.

Lightning struck the TV antenna

and shorted the computer, the DVD and the TV,

but the toaster wasn’t affected at all.

The floods (you heard about those?)

ruined the carpet

but Mum rescued most of the furniture

except the lounge suite.

Oh, and that big gum tree

that Mr Ross kept asking you to have cut down,

well, it finally gave way.

So much for the garage.

I almost forgot to mention your car

- it’s been off the road for so long now –

the motor finally decided to pack it in

just as Mum was reversing up the drive

and didn’t see the fish pond.

Otherwise things are pretty boring here.

I guess Europe is much more exciting,

although the bushfires are getting closer to the house now.

By the way, you did pay the insurance before you left,

didn’t you?